Happiness.

I found myself to be content in my surroundings: music and other motorists.

This isn’t always the case for me. I may be one of those people who suffer from road rage. In fact, I often find myself suffering mood swings from happiness to anger. Off the road, my temper is usually at bay. That is, unless you ask my significant other or my best friend; they get the brunt of it. I do realize that none of this is healthy or safe, but alas, it is fact. I often struggle with keeping my temper low. During this struggle, I am often very high-strung and stressed. This has been referred to by others in a multitude of ways. Two of which are “poking the bear” and “being on thin ice.”

Again, I realize this isn’t safe or healthy. Truly, it isn’t fair to myself or others around me.

I have taken note of my behaviors. I’ve tried to make significant changes to my life because I don’t want to live on edge always. I don’t always want to be late. I don’t always want to battle with my temper. I don’t always want to take it out on those around me. I want to be better.

So, I researched. I spent more than six months (and counting) researching what could help me be a better me. I’m not going to say I found it. I am also not going to say this will work for anyone else in a similar situation. However, I will say that the reason I dedicated my March blog post to my newfound happiness and very public admission to being stressed and sometimes ill-tempered (sorry Babe, BFFLE, and some family members) is that maybe there are some of you out there on a similar quest. And possibly this blog might help you, whether it be an exact fit or it guides you to a direction.

Tip: It’s never too early or too late to start. I decided that on January 1st, 2017 I would complete activities to help me every day. The solution I yearn to find will likely never be a one-and-done fix. I may never be “fixed.” It will most definitely be a daily challenge for me to maintain peace and happiness, because emotions are daily things. After talking with others, reading things on the Internet, and reflecting on the past, I put forth a plan:

I had to figure out what would make me happy. For me, I’m happiest when I am writing often (both prompted and naturally). I was happy when I was doing something which not only came naturally to me, but actually made me happy. It is also a healthy activity. I encourage everyone to find the time (if not daily, then weekly) to do the thing that makes you the happiest and keeps you healthy. It doesn’t have to be creative or an art. Please, make time to indulge in a happy thing. Heck, it could be multiple happy things. One Monday you write. One Wednesday you quilt. One Friday you hike.

I had to figure out a goal or three. I realized that time spent achieving a goal makes me just as happy and proud as the moment I actually achieve the goal–or even the moment when I realized I tried and failed.

I needed to start reading every day. I’ve known that reading every day is good on so many levels. It would help my writing. It would help me in school or getting back into school. It’s a social event. It’s quiet time. It’s a learning experience. The list goes on and on. So, I started reading every day.

Another goal for me had been going back to school; I returned to school at the end of January. It was a goal completed and a goal beginning. It’s given me purpose. It’s given me drive. And it’s given me hope. Purpose, drive, and hope make for a great happiness cocktail. School is where I was driving from when I noticed I was happy.

For the day-to-day happiness: No matter how happy a person can be, stress comes into life in all shapes and sizes. It comes out of nowhere.  I am trying to meditate every day to help me sleep, to help me find stillness and peace, to help me stay calm, to help me relax, to open myself up to a higher power, and to allow me to be aware of my surroundings. I would suggest a still meditation or a motion meditation (like certain body modalities) to anyone living a stressful life.

I’ve also spoiled myself with massages. Spas can have an effect on the wallet, sure, but putting oneself first is worth it. Stress can kill. Massages are wonderful.

It’s a daily struggle, and nothing is one-size-fits-all. I do hope happiness and health for all reading this today. Good luck on your journey! I am optimistic in mine.

Megan Andreuzzi is an animal lover and a traveler from the New Jersey Shore. She earned a degree from Arcadia University in Glenside, Pennsylvania, USA in Liberal Studies with a dual concentration in writing and a minor in theater.

The post A Weird Sensation: Happiness appeared first on Newfound.

Because of this, once the dust of post-election disbelief had settled, I felt the need to hit the ground running. While my friends reeled and grieved because they’d tried so hard for nothing, the shame of knowing I hadn’t tried at all moved me to throw myself into every cause I came across. I read every article. I signed every petition. I called my representatives. I made stacks of frantic to-do lists.

During this time, a lot of people were talking about the importance of self-care in the aftermath of the election. Breathe, they said. Take a bath. Call your mom. Here’s a picture of some puppies. Is everybody feeling okay?

All of that was fine for other people. The people whose lives and rights were now endangered because of the sort of inaction I was guilty of – those people could process. They could take bubble baths. I had to get out there and fight.

The thing about fighting, though, is that really, you have only one weapon: yourself. You can march in the rallies, you can go to the meetings, you can stay up late poring over all the books you should have read in college, but no matter how passionately you throw yourself into these things, the only tool you have to work with is one with inherent limits. Your body can only coast on endorphins and adrenaline for so long. The further you drag it past its comfort level, the less it works – and your brain goes right along with it.

Last summer, a member of my immediate family was in a coma for a month after suffering what can loosely be described as an aneurysm. Following a successful surgery, he was scheduled to be taken out of sedation over the course of several weeks. I had flown from New Orleans to California to be with my family during his surgery, and I wasn’t sure I could stay long enough to be there when he woke up without compromising my job and income; I was distraught, determined to be there for him but faced with considerable consequences.

During this time, a friend of mine weighed in with a simple reminder: “This is a marathon, not a sprint.” While it seemed like the most important thing in the world to be there the moment his eyes opened and he came back to a changed life, that moment wasn’t the only one he would need support in. Weeks, months down the line, he would still need to figure out the details – sometimes profound, sometimes mundane – of how to return to normal life. Giving up everything just to be there at the most dramatic moment, and compromising my ability to provide consistent support throughout what was to come, simply didn’t make sense.

What I’m trying to say is this: folks, this is a marathon. A four-year marathon (because, so help us God, it’ll be only four) which will require much more of us than we are used to giving. If you want to be a warrior, that’s great. But warriors don’t wake up one day and stroll onto the battlefield. They train. They hone. They take the time to equip themselves with the skills and strength necessary to go out there and get things done.

It may look like history is made through the grand, dramatic actions of a handful of heroic souls, but those actions are just the most visible peak of a foundation of consistent effort. Yes, we need people storming the gates. But we also need people in the background, preparing for when those in the front lines need to tap out. We need people sitting in quiet rooms planning the next move. We need people raising children and growing food while the battle’s being waged, because the world doesn’t stop even for an apocalypse.

Even if it’s the last thing you feel like doing, self-care is as integral to the revolution as action. If you’re not sure how to start, the basics are very simple:

1. Eat. Eat vegetables, eat protein, eat enough. If your activity levels have changed, feed yourself accordingly.
2. Sleep. Give yourself time to sleep, and adjust your evening habits to make sleeping easier (cut off Internet/social media half an hour before sleep, take some melatonin, reduce light/noise in your environment, etc.).
3. Drink water. So much water. Get used to taking a water bottle (or several) wherever you go.
4. Exercise. This doesn’t have to mean hitting the gym, either – just do something that’s strictly physical. Stretch, dance, go for a run. Have sex while your insurance still pays for birth control.
5. Go outside. Even if “outside” is a dumb little stream across from the parking lot outside your office building, put yourself somewhere where you can easily focus on nature.

That should get you started. If you need more specific suggestions, here are a few things that have worked for me:

6. Laugh. Be with friends, watch a stupid movie, get your dog to do that thing with his nose.
7. Build rituals. If you’ve raised a child (or even a pet), you know that consistency is a big part of creating a stable environment. Whether it’s balancing your checkbook or listening to your favorite podcast, make some habits that can be pillars of consistency in your daily life.
8. Give yourself concrete, feasible tasks. If that means calling your senator or donating to Planned Parenthood, great – but if you have to start with cleaning your closet just to get some sense of accomplishment or control, that’s okay too.
9. Pace your news intake. There’s a lot of information flying around right now, and it’s more important than ever to be informed – but again, remember, your brain has limits just like the rest of your body. Bookmark or make lists of things you want to read or research, but don’t gorge yourself on information. You’ll retain and process it better if you take it in controlled doses.
10. Self-care together. It can be hard to take care of yourself when you’ve been conditioned to prioritize others, so do both. Reach out to your friends and find things you can do together, and support each other in taking care of yourselves.

And lastly…

11. Freak the fuck out. Getting things done often means keeping your emotions in check, so it’s important to balance that with letting yourself feel what you’re feeling when it’s safe to. If you need to be alone to do that, give yourself time to be alone. If you need to be with people to do that, find a time when you can surround yourself with the right people.

However difficult it might be, force yourself to recharge – and then charge.

Betsy Arant is a writer and farm worker living in New Orleans. Her work has been featured in Cricket Magazine, The Iowa Source, University of Wisconsin Flash Fiction, The Green Room, Art Scene, Go World Travel, and the Yahara Journal. Her literary installations have appeared in the Wormfarm Institute’s Woolen Mill Gallery and Farm Aid.

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